Wednesday, March 2, 2011

...YES, I AM A SURVIVOR

Time flies.  I strarted a new part-time job three weeks ago and it has flown by. I'm loving the new job, but it does curb my writing time. I haven't done much with my new book, Blended.

However, I have been working on the marketing task list given to me by my editor, for my debut novel, Losing Cinderella.  I'm just about finished the list, but in writng the required short and long biographies for various on line and print media, I came face to face with my past, which forced me to make an important decision. Thus, the heading of my blog post.

Yes, I am a survivor. My debut novel, Losing Cinderella, was inspired by events I experienced in my own life and the lessons I learned. I chose to convey this through the fictitious story of my main character, Georgia Charles. Years back, when I began this book as a fiction tale, I believed my own life story would be of no interest to anyone. Why? Because saying I was the victim of an abusive spouse, made me feel like a fraud. Again you ask, why? Because I didn't sport black eyes and broken bones, and serious physical beatings.

I have come to realize I suffered from mental abuse on a daily basis, and yes, there were forms of physical abuse. The only resason I avoided physical beatings is because I came to recognize that certain look in his eye. When I saw that look, I became instantly passive and subservient, while household furniture and objects became the focus of his rages. After nine years of living with this behavior, I realized this wasn't enough for him anymore; he wanted a reaction from me. "The "look" was suddenly being directed at me and my four-year-old. That's when I packed up and left, no longer able to deny the abuse I was living with and knowing what was to become the inevitable.

This brings me back to my marketing chores. Part of my bio package was to explain where my experience came from to write this story. I realized it was necessary to connect my writing of this book to my past experiences and I needed to be able to do so publicly. Another reason I was reluctant to recount my story in a non-fiction venue, was out of respect for my ex-husband's family and for the sake of my son.  I recently reunited with one remaining family member who gave me her blessing and I'm so happy to have her back in my life. My son is very supportive
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I chose to share my life-changing experiences through the fictitious story of one woman’s compelling and heroic survival against all odds. My goal is the reader will connect to my main character’s plight on a personal level as well as be entertained.

Being raised by a very private, British mother who believes in keeping our private lives private, it was a difficult decision to "out" myself. But the decision is made and I am okay with talking publicly about my past and how it relates to my debut novel, Losing Cinderella. Do understand that the book is less aboout an abusive spouse, and more about the misconceived myths and expectations naive couples take into a relationship, only to be disillusioned.

So, my writing has proven itself once again to be a part of my healing process and I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops...yes, I am a survivor. 

Keep on keeping on writing! 
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