Monday, March 4, 2013

REFLECTIONS

Today I'm in a reflective mood and I'm going to talk about life. A little generalized perhaps, just a little philosophical observation on my own existance that could possibly apply to yours.

My family spans five living generations from 1922 to the present time, with the youngest family member at one year of age and the eldest at ninety-one, spanning ninety years, from a great-great grandson to a great-great grandmother. I have always been a person who looks forward to the future and rarely looks into the past. I just don't want to miss anything. Other than a bad first marriage that led me into writing, it's not that I don't have many happy memories of my childhood or youth. I do. But I have always found it depressing when other people reflect back to their teen years or twenties, and believe them to be the good old days, wishing they were here again. Living in the past means we're missing the present and by not looking to the future, we could be missing out on a great opportunity.  I would never want to stagnate and not enjoy what's offered now.

Recently, I have found myself being more nostalgic about the past and it bothers me because I want my past to stay as fond memories and not become a part of my everyday thinking. So I decided to question myself as to why the past keeps slipping into my present. Self examination found me the answer.


It's my generation. Yup...that's it.


My mother is the only one left in the first generation of my living family. I am in the second generation, having reached the age where once my dear mother has passed, my generation is next.  I remember when I was thirteen years old and the legal age at that time was twenty-one. I thought I'd never get there and believed I would die before I ever became an adult...twenty-one was just so far away. So twenty-one came and went fortyish years ago. Where did the time go?


I'm living in a generation where rarely does a week pass, someone I know has lost a relative or a friend. Ours is the generation where it all comes home to roost. What happens in our lives is very much dictated to by health, lifestyle and acceptance of the inevitable...death.


We're all born to die!


Ouch...that sounds pretty harsh. But it's reality.  And it makes one reflect on the past...and now that I understand my nostalgia, how do I deal with it? By deciding on what I want to do with the rest of my life. This hasn't been a quickie thing that suddenly happened. It began I believe about four months ago when I made the decision not to pursue a wonderful position with a huge pay jump. At that time, lifestyle was the deciding factor and it has snowballed from there. A series of events in my family has forced me to take a good look at my life and make the biggest decision of all. In five months I will be retiring from the work force, allowing me a stressfree lifestyle and one where I can dedicate myself to my writing. Working at my writing will be through choice and not because of financial necessity. Yes...becoming a pensioner will curb some of the activities my husband and I have become accustomed to doing at the drop of a hat, but we will have "enough" to live a comfortable lifestyle.


Living a healthy, stressfree life has become our mission statement. We can't cheat death, but we can make choices that could push it further down the road.  Life is a series of journeys, with the journey being more important than the destination. I'm back looking forward to the future, ready to embrace many more journeys....just sayin'.



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